Great Things Seen & Heard

Rat Root foraging went much better than last year!
Only two casualties in the Earthquake Drill at PVO!
Our school passed the surprise health inspection this week, both in the bathrooms and the kitchens!
Teacher attacked her own nose in her sleep due to a nightmare about bugs overtaking the room!
We have a new survival game called “Whack-a-mole” with M&M’s for prizes!

At least one presenter at the division-wide PD day hosted in our school was interested in purchasing student artwork from our Art Gallery!
Teacher tapes a note with her cellphone number on the front door in case people need to get in for an evening meeting, but the note disappeared before she could take it down. Maybe a student has it now…
One highly gifted staff member attained a mark of 82% on a certificated course by taking the test without even doing the lessons!
Class differences: boys’ bathroom stash now contains cognac instead of vodka!
Student has two adults call in with different reasons for her absence after she calls in to order lunch for herself.
Student recommends the principal get a taser for bathroom supervision.
Permission was given to a teacher for kicking a student’s butt even if it means getting fired because graduation would be worth it!
Student in the library claims he just had a smoke break in the bathroom, and then laughs and says he’s going back for another one but heads to class.
The most unexpected students come out of the woodwork to say goodbye to NH, even before the last day.
Volleyball teams came home with consolation final (girls) and silver (boys). Great performance!

We discovered that PTI stress can cause temporary color blindness, especially when recounting specific details related to events.
Beware naked teenagers practicing to be massage therapists out in the school yard over lunch hour!
Some students were surprised that the v word is not a swear word, but a body part.

Some students had never eaten a fruit containing a choking hazard before this week!
Student tells the teacher that she needs to brush her hair.
The bus left an EA behind when she went back into the school to get the first aid kit.
Over the night shift, an unknown janitor brought flowers in for a staff member on behalf of a secret admirer!
A teacher tried to usher a street person out of the school only to find out it was a new student!
Teacher’s tip: don’t make assignments with the answer key on the back! Maybe a substitute teacher wouldn’t notice…
A teacher accidentally farted in a student’s face when bending down to pick up a pencil off the floor!
A teacher found out that a fly walking across the classroom ViewBoard screen is enough to take control of the computer!
A student showed up in class claiming to be the student who had not yet come into class. Fortunately, the teacher figured out who the student really was and escorted him to his actual classroom.
A student grabbed a staff member’s braids and called out, “Giddy-up, Horsie!”
Students were asking teachers if their balls would shrink if they kept taking melatonin!

A student interrupted a teacher to let her know he’s a grown man!
A teacher tells principal to sex in a text message! Oh, that nasty spell checker…
There is no such thing as a private print now that we have fobs!
This week, we heard we have a Floating Clam class!
Our enrolment is up by 42 since summer!

We thought it was funny that our ATA rep was no longer an ATA member but then she discovered all HPSD teachers were accidentally knocked off the membership records. Good thing our rep is on the ball!
We learned why students going to Boondocks for lunch are always late for Block 3 classes!
Our enrolment is up by 24 students since the end of June. We are squeezing students in!

Great to hear some of our badminton players received two ASAA sportsmanship “setting the bar” awards!
Quotable quote from staff: it gets ugly before it gets better. Could that be confirming the work on our staff parking lot?
A teacher accidentally called another teacher a dickhead. Oops!
Who stole the confiscated bong from the PVO library? No students were left in the building when it disappeared, so it must have been…
With the end of the year teacher-fuzzy-brain syndrome, $500 per month for ten years adds up to $5000! Is that new math?

Teacher accidentally wrote “grilled children” as an example of healthy eating instead of “grilled chicken”!
Timetable basically settled after rearranging for conflicts—now just have to balance numbers!

Three strong students completed the work of dozens to take down the gym after Grad!
Be careful about calling for help using dictation to text: you could end up with a message about condoms not being necessary!
If your keys are stolen from your front door, it’s probably best not to break in through a window and fall on your back… let the five-year old climb through instead!
ATA Induction at the bowling alley was a lot of fun!

Thank you to all the staff who helped with the Grad ceremony: it is truly appreciated!
In the height of emotional upheaval, we know we have an admirable teacher who will try his best to turn things back to a positive note, with constructive ideas and a gentle tone!
When a teacher asked the student how his CTS module was coming, he slipped and said, “My mom has almost finished it.”
Be wary at all times because we have recently heard that a teacher stripped down on the bus not knowing that all school buses have cameras running at all times. Not sure which school the teacher was from though…
In describing the class at the end of the day, a teacher described it as being exactly like “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!”

Mes mots hebdo