Great Things Seen & Heard

Overheard: A Math student complained, “I am struggling with this material as it is affecting my ability to play sports!”
An anonymous teacher was heard to be “juggling her melons” in the kitchen on Breakfast Day!
A teacher made a daring bet: she would drink water out of a student’s shoe if he managed to finish all of his assignments in one evening!
A student who is constantly supervised because of suspicious bathroom behaviour was seen entering the gender-neutral bathroom with a banana. Why?

One of our EA’s appreciates distraction of the others so that she can be first on the bus, but she needs to be careful that a dead bird won’t trip her up!
Overheard report in the office: a student was taking a sh** in the boys’ bathroom when the ceiling tile fell on his head! He added that the bottles are still up there, though.
A staff member accidentally texted her boyfriend to call in sick instead of me, but he had no reception to tell her she had the wrong number until late in the evening!
A student thinks that his teacher gives off the vibes that she makes all major life decisions based on astronomy!
A student emailed an assignment to CB, thinking she was JG!

Student tells his teacher that he can do what he wants because he’s EV’s favourite, but EV doesn’t even know who he is!
Student asks for a case of gogo squeeze apple sauce just for her!
New trend: using the phrase “f-bomb” instead of the actual swear word.
Shy student brings a bag of sweethearts to her teacher even though the whole class is watching!
New definition of womanizer: “Do you want me to use my woman-eyes to find that for you?”

Overheard: staff member has coffee left because she’s doing pot (but she actually said pods)!
TP overhears discussion in office wondering who TP is and speculating that surely it was an error, probably meant to say TR in the Monday Memo. TP stepped out to say it was her!
We were caught going out for bus supervision on a no-bus day! No wonder it was empty!
Overheard: the Y chromosome polishes the terd. Ask our SS teachers for the context of that one…
Teacher asked substitute to please shred everything in the drawer without realizing another teacher had put all her final exams in that drawer!
Student texts his Gift Lake bus driver at 9:30 AM to come pick him up and drive him home because he was bored. Uber, come pick me up!
Boy hurt his ankle and couldn’t come for his exam, so his mom agreed to try and wake him up (at 1:00 PM) to get him to school.
Teacher telling stories about dissecting a kid in the school parking lot—thankfully, it was a baby goat for Science class!
Teacher moved to HP 33 years ago after being told it was on the headwaters of Slave Lake!
We heard from a student that we have another male principal: KJ!
Marks for chocolate? Yes: for the price of one Kit Kat, a student moved from 89.7% to 90% average!
A student was talking about someone with a commanding voice: KJ!
Overheard: we have to order pre-sharpened pencils because our high school students don’t know how to operate a pencil sharpener!

Four students wandered into school after skipping Block 3 to find the school was empty! Were they ever surprised to hear buses were sent home early, and even more disappointed when we sent them to class to catch up on work.
A Grade 12 student asked for his mark, and when he heard it was 25%, he was surprised it’s so high!
A shy Grade 10 student who never talks to his peers said he’d like a bag of chips and his classmates brought him some from the store. How sweet of them!
Student tells others that their teacher makes Finance more fun than it should be. Way to go, FS!

Oversight: someone saw CB’s email about the basketball roster and thought it was about a Rooster and Hens!
Substitute teacher got a real workout on Friday: she was chasing down people in JC Park (very fast people) and it turned out they were not her students!

TR thought his dog go lost outside during a Zoom meeting but it turns out the dog was behind him, inside the house!
KW’s puppy was loudly snoring during a Zoom meeting and everyone thought it was someone in the meeting!

Someone secretly went into the school and watered plants just in case we’re locked out longer! Thank you!!
The idea of forming a mutual support group for staff has come up. What a great idea!

Students at our home basketball tournament were excited to hear that their coach was going to be in a fight, but it was just a crazy rumour.
Some thought the opposing team’s basketball coach was saluting as if to Hitler, but it was a sloppy hand sign for a three-pointer!
Sometimes the size of our email window changes a message: “calling a student to the office to call her father” was cut off to say, “I called a student to my office and called her fat!”
Our finance secretary thought she’d play a trick and jumped out to scare a staff member but it was a student’s mother at the door, not the EA!
One of our teachers made a pocket call to a parent and the mother was so interested in the lesson that she listened in for the whole thing! That’s a compliment!
Overheard when the order of Christmas planters was assembled in the conference room:
“What an odd order, all these planters and only one wreath!”
A substitute teacher called student names in to the office for attendance and thought the baseball player, JH, was “Huggies.” That boy had better start practicing neater handwriting!

Mes mots hebdo