Great Things Seen & Heard

New way to describe oneself: formerly gifted, average adult!
A local principal who went to the scene of a group fight in an alley down from the school was stopped by attending police for having expired registration on the license plates!
Never give a megaphone to an English teacher at a local hockey game!
The most unlikely student corrected a teacher for taking the Lord’s name in vain!
A student came to the office and asked the finance secretary for his T4 slip!

We may not be special to receive 34 new Chromebooks, but it’s still great news that we received 34 new Chromebooks!
A shy student told his teacher that the tech guy sounded like a muppet!
Overheard: ceiling may be fire retardant, but alcohol is retardant for students!
Teacher overheard singing a new song about doing it on the bathroom floor except the principal has the key…
Our two conference speakers were so popular, they’ve been invited to speak to a special EverActive staff audience!
Student said her uncle is bringing her lunch, but since her boyfriend was the one who brought her lunch, we’ll have to call him Uncle!
Student tells another student that although she may want to be like her teacher when she grows up, she’ll never be able to afford the therapy her teacher gets!

Congratulations to NS on receiving a grant for a Foods field trip to Edmonton!
Questioned a student talking about body-shaving and later realized it was a conversation about body-shaming!

Since many of our requests for help with keys and knobs at school are turned down when we struggle to get doors open, we were most delightfully surprised with a new doorknob for Room 147. Congratulations, RL!
Speaking of requests for help, when our automatic sink faucet was in need of a new battery, one teacher made up a song to sing while trying to get the water to run!
Sometimes we think we have such unruly students, but in Grade 3, one little boy stood up in the middle of his class stood up and yelled “suck my dick” but was horrified when he found out what that means (his friend dared him to do it).
Student felt sick and woozy after lunch after eating the whole bag of candy she thought her mother had packed in her backpack, but then remembered that she had bought the bag of edibles herself when she turned 18! Too late to not eat them all at once!
Student brought four apples into the boys’ washroom after lunch and then later volunteered to clean up smashed apples on walls and cubicles in exchange for unlocking the door to let boys use the washroom.
Fine line of interpretation between “send homework experience” versus “sending home work experience forms!”
When teacher asked how to get the touch screen feature to work on the whiteboard, the answer came that SmartBoard and interactive screens can have that feature, but whiteboards still require markers. Oops! Wrong word!

One of our students will be competing at the Arctic Winter Games this week!
A student’s great great grandfather is Kootenay Brown!
Misread “corn” based as “com” based and thought it was a new dietary restriction!
Teacher said that terra cotta warriors were made of baked clay, and then learned that was the meaning of terra cotta!

Our new teacher (JM) will be able to join our staff lunch on Friday!
Accidentally told a boy he was cute instead of saying he was quick. Oops!
Student asks for permission to text his mom to bring him a Tim’s during his Diploma exam!

Accidentally told students to log into their Diploma Exam with their « loser » name (instead of username).
We have a new teacher who has accepted a verbal offer for Semester Two! (Her name will be announced once her contract is signed.)
SS 20 student shows up for SS Diploma Exam and is shocked when told his name isn’t on the list.

This year could mark the last year that paper copies of Diploma exams are offered…
This weekly memo reaches 82 subscribers and various visitors representing 31 countries (mostly Canada and US, followed by China, Indonesia, France, India, and UK).

Teacher stopped by police for stunting in front of school.
Student prepares a piece of cheesecake at his home to bring to his teacher.
Students ask for Bingo Fridays every week!
A student accidentally asks his teacher, “Do you want to lick my fingers?”
A porn addiction discussion in class ends with talking about erectile dysfunction.
Students rubbing dicks in class? Got to be Grade 10, or perhaps a poor Chinese translation of cellphone!
Google Wellness classroom highlight: two years free from self-harm.
Dodging quadratics is a new form of exercise.
Teacher tear of time of year…
Student asked if this TED talk will be on YouTube, but it was an interview for the school division!
Student’s proud accomplishment of the year: getting taller.
Sugar = social lubricant.
Christmas wish list: a private toilet in the football room. There’s a hole in the floor after all…

Mes mots hebdo